Welcome.

Well, Hello there!

Writing is my thing. Well, I have a lot of ‘things’ but my words seem to flow when I write. So, it’s time for a blog full of depth, roots and love!

Here we go..

If something doesn’t have depth, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be interested. I’m not interested in trashy TV, I’m not interested in things that are fake. 

I want things to be real. I need things to have depth. I need to hear it, I need to feel it, I need to sense it. I need to be able to connect and relate. 

Most marketing strategies say to use Social Media to promote, and I can see why. It’s a quick way to reach your audience. You’re right out in front of them straight away. A lot of time social media can trigger our ‘not enough-ness’ or ‘my life isn’t great’ - and a lot of people addicted to these. 

But that isn’t me. Hell No. Yes, I have learnt hell of a lot from social media, it has it’s place and it’s time - but to me, it doesn’t have any depth. What depth can you receive from a picture, posted by a stranger, that was taken in a nano-second?

I used to post on my social media every single frigging day because I was told I should. I’m so done with shoulds. Or at least, I’m learning to let them go. 

So whilst I’ll be sharing on my social media that I’m writing, it has led you to here. To a place that feels so like me. A place that you will receive so much wisdom. So much vulnerability. Highs and Lows. Where I’m not limited by the number of words that I can write. A place that I have freedom. A place that you will receive a much fuller picture and learn so much about yourself.

I’m quick to forget when I’m writing to the world that you may not know me so I’m going to share a little bit below so you can get a feeling of who I am.

I’m Izi. 

I’m bold. I’m a game changer. I also sometimes sit in a state of paralysed fear and want to run away. I can chew the inside of my mouth up, have a panic attack and mumble because I don’t know what to say. 

But I’ve also done big, bold things with my life. 

I’ve flown to Australia on a one way ticket, by myself, with no plans once I got there

• I went to uni for two weeks and then quit.. to prove everyone I didn’t want to go

• I moved from a comfortable employed job in London (so totally not living the ‘London Dream’) to setting up my own business and flying solo

• I’m learning to find my voice about being sexually abused as a child and how I have learnt it’s my greatest gift

• I moved from Sussex to Cornwall, UK, during the pandemic, by myself, with my dog.. because I wanted to

• At the start of 2022 I decided I want to go to an outdoor bootcamp. So I started a brand spanking new business for exactly that.

I’ve always had a bit of a flame in me. I know that we all do. It just depends on how that flame is burning and what we choose to do with it. Sometimes the flame feels like it’s so bright that nothing could put it out. Other days it feels like if I were to breathe it would go out. But that flame is always there and it’s always guiding the way. 

But for so many reasons, I learnt to suppress that flame. A lot of us have in one way or another, haven’t we?

It would be impossible to ‘blame’ one thing. Society? Because I’m a women? My education? The choices I’ve made? The way I was bought up? Because someone else said something to me and it upset me? 

I’ve learnt it’s way more exhausting trying to understand it and work it than allowing it to be and working with things as they are. And blaming is more exhausting than trying to understand. 

So I’ve stopped blaming everything else and this year I’ve started to take full responsibility. And that is fucking painful but oh my is it magical. 

There’s something about me that I can’t really explain, but quite often I feel like I know the answer to things before they happen. I have such a strong intuition but only recently have I started to trust it and stop trying to understand it. It’s like I know what’s going to happen.. but I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to get there.  It’s frustrating, it often goes against so many things that I’ve learnt and it involves SO much un-learning and re-learning. 

One example - we used to come on holiday to Cornwall when I was a child. When I moved down here in 2020 I drove past one of the local supermarkets. 

And it hit me. The clearest flashback I’ve maybe ever had. 

Around the age of 8 or 9, sitting in the back of my parents car. As clear as day saying ‘I’m going to live near here’.

And here I am. Still driving past the supermarket, living here. Living in a village that I used to visit as a child which I didn’t remember until my Granny reminded me of, roughly 6 months after I moved.

So why am I writing?

Mainly, because I want to. Writing gives me freedom. It allows my busy head to settle. It makes me smile and it makes me cry.

But through the past few years of this self discovery journey, it has felt so lonely. I’ve felt like a lone wolf trying to learn a new life. I often relate to it as being transported to Japan, not knowing any Japanese but having to find my way around. It’s a mind fuck. 

I’m fed up of the people on social media always putting on a smile because it’s what they think everyone wants to see. I’m bored of only hearing the good things when there are shitty things too. I’m bored of this ‘ideal’ life that everyone is searching for externally because few people talk about the internal journey. 

So I’m going to be the person for you, that I wish I had had. Someone who has learnt to be brave. Who hates to see suffering and suppression. Someone who first hand knows that the only person that can really get shit sorted is yourself. And that was a painful truth that I never wanted to hear. 

Getting shit sorted is your responsibility. It’s your way of showing up for yourself. It’s you, saying to the world, I whole heartedly love myself and I’ll do what I can to provide for myself. It’s the small things that you do each day that lead to the big things. It’s drinking more water because you know that you need it. It’s stopping and sitting down and allowing yourself to feel exactly what you need to. It’s diving so deep in your mind, body and soul - meeting yourself at a level that breaks you and builds you up stronger. 

That doesn’t mean that you have to do it alone. There’s an abundance of people who want to support you along the way. But they can only support you, they can’t do what needs to be done. That’s your role in all of this.

Some posts will be long, others will be short. But they will all come from my heart. They will come from a deep place. A place that we all have but many of us don’t choose to share. A place that is vulnerable. That’s dark. A place that many of us hide from. A place that feels easier to keep quiet. 

So here’s my warning to you - I’ll probably trigger the fuck out of you. And that’s my gift to you. 

But I also have a promise - and my promise is that those triggers, when you allow them to, will become your best friend. The more that you choose to listen to them and love them, the more your life will grow. Everything will start to blossom.  The more you stop running away from them, the sooner everything that you’ve always wished, wanted and desired will come closer to you. 

You will learn to be your best detective. Your number one fan. You’ll see first hand that however much someone seems to have their shit together, we ALL have a crappy day. No more social media fake bullshit here. 

Sitting here as I type, I have so many plants to my left. One is on the floor, towering about 1.5meters tall. The others are on my desk and are of different shapes and sizes. They’re not in the best condition but I love them just as they are. Different shades of green, yellow, brown. Different shaped leaves. Dead bits and new growth. 

And it’s how I see us - the bits that we hide, the bits that feel dark and like they’re pulling us backwards - they’re the seeds and roots in the soil. If they don’t receive nutrients, water and the right conditions to grow, they get stuck.

But the second that they receive what they need, they blossom. They have their seasons, they all need different things. One plant only seems to thrive if It’s closer to others. Another doesn’t like much water. Ones loves water. 

So now is your time to meet your needs and show yourself that love. 

As I’ve been writing this, I’ll be honest and share with you that a whole amount of shame and judgement, towards myself has popped up. There are tears and smiles in there too. Flowing in union. 

Who am I to think anyone will read this? Who am I to think that anybody actually cares? People will judge me. Anyone older than me will think ‘well obviously, she just needs to grow older and she’ll learn it all’. 

And do you know what? I don’t have any control over any of those of those. I can’t control how someone is going to react or respond. All I have control over is me and my words.

And that itself scares me too. What if my words are wrong? What if I regret everything that I’ve said and shared? What if I have bared too much of myself to the world? What if, what if, what if.. 

 All of those thoughts though, they are trying to protect me. Protect me from judgement from others. To protect me from making a fool of myself. Because it’s way comfier being safe. But there’s a whole world on the other side of this discomfort. 

So I’m allowing them to be there. I’m grateful to them because they’re trying to look after me. 

But I’ve learnt that I can look after myself and I can allow others to look after me too. I’ve learnt a whole amount about trust. About my voice. About love. 

I’ve learnt that the more people share their stories, the more I’ve felt like I can have a voice too.

So here I am, sharing my voice. Because I want you to have one too.

Stay Wild,

Izi xx